Rosa didn’t feel quite rosy, as opposed to what her name suggested.
Rosa De Guzman is a fifteen-year-old high schooler who dreads and looks forward to the coming face-to-face classes.
“Rosa!” A high-pitched voice called out to her, arms raised to embrace her as her classmate bounced on her feet.
Rosa willed herself not to withdraw into herself. Sweat clung to her palms as her heart thundered in her chest. She was happy and not at the same time.
“Did you miss us?” Carmen, her bubbly friend, gave her a megawatt smile.
Rosa froze as Carmen hugged her tightly. A classmate chided them as they were reminded to socially distance themselves. Carmen grinned sheepishly as she retreated to a respectable distance. Rosa realized that Carmen was now a few inches taller.
Rosa stuttered, “H-How are you?”
She cleared her throat, face burning and hoping that no one noticed. She took in her classmates’ outfits and faces, albeit covered by a mask. She felt a sudden nervousness as she suddenly realized she was underdressed.
“I’m fine. I’m so excited to be back! It’s been so long.” Carmen said, voice wistful.
Rosa nodded, words stuck in her throat. She couldn’t bear the new environment. The air prickled her skin as she felt out of place in the whole situation she found herself in.
“Anything new?” Carmen prodded.
Rosa sat on her seat, squirming into a comfortable position. She muttered a no and grounded herself into place. She didn’t know what she should do or if there was something she should do. The whole experience felt surreal. She felt like she was in the seventh grade, not the ninth grade.
“This feels really weird.” She remarked, masking her agitation with a small laugh.
Carmen agreed, proceeding into a rant about the new face-to-face arrangements. Their class had been halved and assigned to different classrooms due to the Covid-19 precautions. Not a minute later, their teacher arrived and Carmen scrambled to return to her assigned seat.
“Carmen, I saw that. I see a lot of familiar faces. A lot of you here are in some kind of school organization. Good morning, class!” Mrs. Reyes greeted them, scanning the classroom.
The students stood and greeted back in a broken chorus, their voices forgetting how to unify after two years of modular learning. After the students settled back in their seats, Mrs. Reyes started.
“It’s been a long time since you guys have had face-to-face classes. One—no, two years? I hope everyone is excited to be back. Are you excited?” Mrs. Reyes cheerfully said, eyes crinkling from a smile hidden by her face mask.
Rosa felt sweat pool in the crook of her elbows and her palms as she took in a deep breath. This was what she wanted. All those years of modular learning, she had longed to be back in the classroom. She still did, so what was she nervous about?
No reason to be nervous. She thought to herself.
Mrs. Reyes started calling on students to answer her question and Rosa wanted to facepalm herself in her naivety.
“Guzman! I know your name. Were you in my sister’s class?” Mrs. Reyes inquisitively asked.
Rosa nodded as she stood to her feet, clasping her palms together.
“Okay, Miss De Guzman, how does it feel to be back on campus?” Her teacher eloquently worded.
Rosa’s face blanched. She opened her mouth but it felt like her brain had stopped and mashed itself into a mush. She remained unmoving and Mrs. Reyes squinted at her in question.
“How does it feel? You’re back here with your classmates. Do you feel…happy? Excited? What emotions?” Mrs. Reyes encouraged her.
Rosa nodded, forcing her mind to articulate some words. Her heart rate was loud in her ears and was hastening by the second.
“I…feel happy. I’m also a bit nervous.” She shoved the words out of her mouth.
Her breathing slowed down and everything felt calmer like a tide that ebbed down into the sea.
“Why? Why do you think so?” Mrs. Reyes added a question.
Rosa’s knees were halfway into becoming jelly but her need to not embarrass herself kept her grounded.
“I’m not used to this type of schooling anymore.” She quietly answered, weakly smiling though no one could see it.
Mrs. Reyes seemed satisfied with Rosa’s answer and she thanked Rosa for her great answer. Rosa sat back down with a relieved sigh.
She had a name attributed to roses. Perhaps, the thorns have overgrown after being left unattended for two years. Now, it poked at her and hurt her instead of protecting her.
Little by little, she will cut the thorns away to her taste as she always did in the face of a new challenge.
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